TANTRA & INNER CHILD WORK
The ‘Inner Child’ is the imprint of our childhood that stays with us in adulthood. It's the part of us that holds the child-like feelings of wanting to be seen and taken care of, needing unconditional love. Unfortunately, often our Inner Child has wounds from our past childhood, as we didn't get the care, love, and attention that we needed and craved when we were young.
While our parents (in most cases 💔) don't intentionally neglect their children, as we all know, life also just happens. Parents do their best, juggling occupied lives, careers, households, and kids. Isn't it impossible to do this all perfectly? And that’s also OKAY! Besides that, most parents can also only give their kids the amount of love and attention that they received themselves.
(So, much love and respect to all loving and sometimes struggling parents out there. You rock. And your kids will most probalby be fine after some therapy in the end ;) )
But the fact is that your Inner Child usually plays a considerable role in your adult life while unconsciously making you react and respond from the point of view of this wounded child. We act as the child who wants to be seen, needs applause, and craves love and attention. When we don't get all of that, we feel hurt.
For example, 'feeling abandoned' by someone is a child's emotion. A grown-up can take care of him- or herself and would never have to feel abandoned in theory. But, in reality, we do feel abandoned when a loved one leaves us. That is the Inner Child inside us, screaming for attention.
The first step toward healing our Inner Child wounds is to acknowledge this Inner Child that is behind the steering wheel of our subconscious minds so often. After all, all the child needs is to be seen. When we see him or her for the first time, it's easier to bring our unconscious actions from the darkness to the light.
There are many ways to connect with your Inner Child and give him or her the attention and love that they need. Visualization practices, journaling exercises, creating drawings and other art, and breathwork and regression exercises are helpful ways to return to your childhood, giving your Inner Child a face and the care and attention that he or she needs.
What I find very helpful is to notice when the child is present. Just noticing her in everyday life, when I'm picking up my kid from daycare, during a challenging moment at work; when I'm cooking; when I'm about to go to bed; when I'm cleaning the dishwasher, during all these normal moments in life, just noticing how my Inner Child is doing and if she needs to have a hug or to hear that 'she's good enough'.
Doing (Tantric) exercises to meet your Inner Child is a great way to dive deep, bringing stuck emotions to the surface. But staying present with the Inner Child and checking in with her daily is equally and maybe even more important.
